Sunday, August 06, 2006
7:21 pm
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It seems this blog is becoming more of a monthly affair. Much as I love to read other people's blogs, it seems for myself I'm often too lazy to update it as frequently as ming or jing. Hm..
This weekend was really busy as it's the FOP season. Sad to say, I did not serve at my best cos I was sick. Missed support as well as the last FOP session. Honestly felt bad leaving SIS at 5 in the afternoon but I know that if I don't rest well tonight, I'll end up on MC again. Which is the last thing I want to do.
I would say duty wasn't too good. Made quite a lot of mistakes especially for last night. Was so upset that I broke down. Perhaps as Bea says, I really ought to have more confidence in myself. After her pep talk, I realised that it's true that I made mistakes but they aren't fatal. And haven't I gone through worse when we first moved to Expo? I guess it's the fact that I was tired physically coupled with the fact that I was unwell. Add to that a few harsh words and it was the breaking point. Honestly those words should not have been a surprise judging from who it came from. I guess everything just built up and I really couldn't take it. All my fellow leaders also encouraged me to take things in my stride and not think so much. Praise the Lord! At least this morning's duty went much better. Still there are things to improve on. Well at least there are learning points from the duties.
1) Be extremely thorough in briefing. Do not assume the leaders and ushers know what
you mean all the time.
2) Speak words of encouragement. The incident last night reminded me of how words can really hurt. I resolve that I should watch what I say in future much more carefully. Think I need to be less harsh with my leaders at times.
Oh well, on the personal front though, I do think things are improving. I've been told that I look very unapproachable. One of my "new" cgms commented that it was the 1st time he talked a lot to me even though previously we were in the same cg. This ties in with what one of my leaders told me-that I look like the type who is independent and can do without a brother. Hm I guess I will really submit when the right brother comes along. Ah well, in the words of Wenhui: you like clean-cut guys who hold their own opinions and yet are sensitive to your needs. Hm...so when will this happen? LOL...
